Words of Affirmation Love Language: How to Do It Right

The words of affirmation love language is about displaying affection verbally, whether through declarations of love or reassuring and encouraging words. Those who use words of affirmation as their primary love language tend to be adept communicators, good at both expressing themselves and listening to their partner.

If you recognize yourself in this definition, the words of affirmation love language may rank high on your list of ways of showing affection, so stay tuned. In this article, we’ll analyze the words of affirmation love language meaning and definition and offer suggestions on expressing love verbally.

The five love languages are the most common ways people express and receive love. They were first defined by Dr. Gary Chapman in his best-selling book of the same name.

According to his theory, one may strongly prefer one love language over the others or combine two or more of them, as most people do. It’s also noteworthy that a person can prioritize one love language for expressing love and another one for receiving it; the preferences usually differ depending on the relationship.

Without further ado, let’s list and define all five love languages:

Words of affirmation love language: This love language is about displaying love and validation verbally, from saying “I love you” to vocally expressing support, appreciation, and encouragement.
Physical touch love language: It encompasses many different forms of physical closeness, from reassuring hugs to passionate lovemaking. If you enjoy bonding with your loved ones through these forms of intimacy and feel refreshed afterward, physical touch may be your preferred love language.
Quality time love language: Showing love by spending quality time with your partner goes far beyond extravagant dates. It’s about giving them your undivided attention, whether you’re on a weekend getaway or at home, cuddling and watching movies.
Acts of service love language: Expressing affection through acts of service means making a conscious effort to make your partner’s life easier and more enjoyable. It’s about doing something concrete for them, whether cooking their favorite dish or taking on their chores when they’re busy or feel unwell.
Gift-giving love language: This love language has many forms, from buying an expensive present for your partner’s birthday to making something for them, such as a photo album documenting your shared time.

The words of affirmation love language is the expression of affection through words of love, support, reassurance, gratitude, and encouragement. It ranges from verbal displays of love to congratulatory words, encompassing all the nuances in between.

Prioritizing the words of affirmation love language in a relationship means valuing communication with your partner above other forms of showing affection. In addition to meaningful in-person conversations and professions of love and appreciation, this love language can be “spoken” through notes, texts, and even letters and poems.

Lastly, there are compliments, which people whose primary love language is words of affirmation often pay to their partners. They enjoy celebrating their loved ones’ achievements and may gladly toast them at a public event with a heartfelt speech.

In turn, these people love to hear (or read) positive or kind words from their partners. They feel loved when their efforts are verbally acknowledged, and they highly value supportive, encouraging, and reassuring words.

Discover your personality's love language by taking the test

If you recognize yourself in the description of the words of affirmation love language, you can find out if it’s your primary choice for showing love by taking the love language test.

You can also reflect on your previous relationships and remember the happiest moments. Did they involve long conversations, verbal validation, and random words of love? If so, it’s highly likely you highly value words of affirmation as a love language.

Knowing if your preferred love language is words of affirmation can help you improve your relationships with others. However, it can also help you understand yourself better and learn how to use the words of affirmation love language to self-improve.

Identifying your partner’s love language calls for open communication and observation skills. Namely, you need to listen to them carefully and pay close attention to their needs, habits, and general preferences to realize how they like to express and receive love.

As you get to know them on an emotional level, you’ll notice all the subtleties about them and learn to recognize their affection and love them the way they need to be loved.

Knowing your partner’s love language is important for a healthy relationship, as it prevents the confusion stemming from different preferences for showing and receiving love. You’ll learn to recognize and appreciate their affection, even if you display your emotions differently.

Therefore, if you genuinely care about your relationship, pay attention to your partner’s reactions to your displays of love. For example, if they light up when you’re vocal about your love for them or praise them for an accomplishment, their preferred love language for receiving love may be words of affirmation.

Similarly, if they compliment you often or send you heartfelt texts out of nowhere to express their feelings for you, they likely highly value the same love language for displaying their affection, too.

Communication is essential for a solid partnership; through open dialogue, you and your partner will learn most about one another. You can even talk about the five love languages and rank them to help each other learn how to understand and meet each other’s emotional needs.

Alternatively, if your relationship is new, you can try to guess your partner’s love language based on their personality traits. They may reveal their 16-personality type, which can hint at their preferred love language.

For instance, ENFJ, ISFJ, and ESFP types generally value words of affirmation over other love languages.

Let’s put theory into practice and explore some words of affirmation love language ideas that may inspire you to express your love for your partner verbally.

When it comes to verbal expressions of love, choosing the right words is the crucial first step. However, that requires knowing your partner and recognizing their need for reassurance, support, and affection.

Although there are no one-size-fits-all words of affirmation, some verbal expressions of love are timeless, such as:

I love you.
I feel safe with you.
Call me when you arrive at your destination.
You inspire me to be the best version of myself.
I miss you.
You are my favorite person.

Expressing love through words of affirmation may feel awkward if you’re not used to it, but it’s essential that you’re genuine. Otherwise, your words will come across as unconvincing and even hollow-sounding.

If you’ve seen As Good As It Gets, you must remember the restaurant scene in which Jack Nicholson’s character, Melvin, tells Carol, the waitress, that she makes him want to be a better man. That simple statement was a genuine show of affection through the words of affirmation love language for him as well as her.

However, hadn’t Melvin allowed himself time to get to know Carol, he wouldn’t have been able to deliver such a heartfelt proclamation of affection and appreciation.

Paying compliments to your partner lets them know how highly you think of them. As with every expression of love, compliments need to be sincere to be meaningful.

Take notice of what your partner is most proud of about themselves and point out those traits to them. Alternatively, you can express your appreciation for some things they may feel insecure about, boosting their confidence.

In case you can’t come up with an authentic compliment just yet, here are some suggestions:

You look beautiful.
I love how smart and witty you are.
You always manage to make me smile.
I love your sense of humor.
You’re an amazing person.
That style suits you well; you look fantastic.

Making your partner feel appreciated is a vital part of showing them love. Recognizing their efforts and importance and vocalizing your gratitude can considerably contribute to healthy relationship dynamics.

You can thank them for their mere presence in your life or choose some concrete action to show gratitude for. Either way, a simple “thank you” can make your partner feel seen, heard, and valued and deepen your bond with them.

Here are some examples of showing gratitude through words of affirmation:

Thank you for being there for me.
I’m thankful to have you in my life.
You make everyday life easier for me.
I appreciate everything you do to make me feel loved.
Thank you for taking on the chores when I’m stressed.
I’m thankful to have such an understanding and supportive partner.

"You are enough, you matter" - Words of Affirmation Love Language

Everyone needs reassurance every now and then, and if your partner’s preferred love language is words of affirmation, your verbal validation will mean a lot to them. Whether they feel insecure or stressed about something, or you simply want to remind them how important they are to you, verbal reassurance will make them feel cherished.

Here are some suggestions on how to use words of affirmation to reassure your partner:

Your opinion matters to me.
You are my priority.
I’m proud of you.
I believe in you.
You’ve made my life better.
I love you for who you are.

Expressing support and encouragement through words of affirmation can make your partner feel like you’re in their corner, cheering them on. Not only will this boost their confidence, but it will also bring you two closer together.

Whether they have an important work presentation coming up or they feel like they’re not up to something, a few simple encouraging phrases can make them feel reenergized and self-assured.

Let’s take a look at some examples of supporting and encouraging your partner verbally:

You can accomplish anything you set your heart on.
I support your dreams.
I’m rooting for you.
I’m by your side to help you if you need me to.
You can make your wishes come true.
We can overcome anything together.

Acknowledging and celebrating your partner’s achievements can create a special connection between you. After all, the people closest to us are the first to know when we accomplish a goal. That’s because we know they’ll share and celebrate our happiness with us.

A romantic partner should be one of those people. Therefore, when your partner reaches a personal or professional goal, be vocal about it and make sure they know you’re happy for them.

Some examples of celebrating their achievements may include the following:

Congratulating them sincerely, in person or via text.
Taking them on a date and toasting their success.
Giving a speech dedicated to them at a public event.
Directly saying you’re happy for them.
Writing them a congratulatory card.
Speaking highly of them in front of your friends and family.

If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, remember that words can hurt them as much as they can make them feel loved. That’s why you need to choose them carefully, keeping in mind your partner’s specific needs, wishes, and preferences.

Therefore, don’t assume there’s a perfect phrase for every situation. Instead, listen to your partner and learn how to use your words best to display your affection for them.

Additionally, there are certain toxic traits and behavior patterns that people who prefer the words of affirmation love language are especially sensitive to. These include gaslighting, accusations, derision, and harsh criticism.

Lastly, since these people thrive on verbal validation, withholding it when angry can hurt their feelings and make them feel insecure and manipulated. The same goes for taking shortcuts when expressing love—they can tell if you’re sincere by your tone alone.

Even if verbal affirmation isn’t your primary love language, you can learn to master it for your partner’s sake. While that may take some time, seeing your partner light up at your words can be incredibly rewarding.

Here are some tips for showing love through words of affirmation:

Try a pet name. Even though terms of endearment might sound corny, they can also create a sense of closeness in a romantic relationship. Simple words like “I love you, baby.” or “Good night, beautiful.” can improve your partner’s day.
Be authentic. Whichever approach to displaying affection through words of affirmation you choose, make sure your words are authentic. General phrases can be used at the beginning of a relationship, but later on, you’ll need to up the ante and speak from the heart.
Leave notes for them to find. You can put a creative spin on the words of affirmation love language and write cute notes for your partner. You can put them in their bag or pocket before they go to work or leave them somewhere in the house to let your partner know you’re thinking about them.

How to Ask Someone for Words of Affirmation

If your preferred love language is words of affirmation, there are ways to ask your partner to show their love for you verbally.

Firstly, show gratitude for their efforts to meet your emotional needs. Whether you do it verbally or through another love language (perhaps the one closest to your partner’s heart), your positive reaction will encourage them to do it more often.

Open and honest communication can also help you and your partner meet halfway if your love languages differ. For example, you can bring up the concept to see whether they know about it. From there, you can discuss the matter further and tell each other openly how you need to be loved.

The words of affirmation love language is about verbal expression of love, appreciation, support, encouragement, and reassurance.
You can take a free test to learn which of the five love languages is your favorite.
Knowing your partner’s love language requires getting to know them on an emotional level by listening to them and paying attention to their behavior.
Honesty and authenticity are essential for showing love through words of affirmation.
People whose preferred love language is words of affirmation are particularly sensitive to gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and excessive criticism.

Take the test